Entries from January 2007
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* Labour Minister Abawambo Sabahabajumbo invites the SPCA to a traditional Cattle slaughter – The SPCA are racists who don’t understand African culture.
* Jackie Selebi announces his shock at famous historians murder – Who knew he was able to have an opinion without a hand up his ass.
* Afrikaans Historians have offered to assist in the name change debacle – The Government said, “We never knew there were any Afrikaners left, where are they? Seriously, we need to know.
* South Korea announces that it is already ready for the 2014 Winter Olympics – Maybe they should help South Africa get ready for the 2010 World Cup…
* Bollywood star Shilpa Shesellsseashells has won celebrity Big Brother – Of course she did! She was persecuted and treated badly by the whites, those trailer trash Chavs!
Much Respect!
Categories: Uncategorized
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* More and more graves are needed in South Africa – As graves become the most popular destination in the country.
* Robert McBride gets bombed and then crashes – And then conveniently forgets. Gotta love the Police.
* Oscar winning South African actor Presley Chengwanenene tries method acting – By buying an illegal driving licence and then getting caught. Its for a role as a South African parliamentarian.
* Telkom denies 3500 telephone lines down in Craighall Park – “There aren’t even 3500 people in Craighall park, are there?
* South Africa and Taiwan have admitted having lots in common – Except we don’t have ladies with cocks like they do.
Much Respect!
Categories: Uncategorized
JMSN 151 South African Terrorist Links
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* 2 South African Men deny links to terrorist organisation – Duh, if they admitted it, they’d be sent to Guantanamo Bay for bum sex with Marines.
* Police continue the war on Prostitutes – By beating any prostitute who won’t sleep with them.
* HIV continues it’s march across the globe killing people in its wake – Coz everybody likes a good pomp, even Gays.
* Eskom promises that there will be no more power cuts – For Today, when tomorrow comes they’ll look into it.
* Hillary Clinton joins the presidential race – Americans are now stuffed, a woman or a black? What to do, what to do?
Master Kungfone say, “Much Respect!”
Categories: Uncategorized
JMSN 150 – Yengeni can still help rebuild SA
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* The ANC is convinced that Yengeni can help rebuild South Africa – Is that coz he’s a convicted fraudster, or because he was reformed by bum sex in jail?
* Health Minister returns to work after three month sick leave – Is it just me? The HEALTH Minister is off work for three months for a lung infection. The HEALTH Minister. It’s just me.
* No arrests for the murder of KZN farmer – Coz murderers go to jail for Bum Sex and always end up in Hell with all Poop Poker Pirates.
* R5000 fine for man who shot a black kid mistaken for a dog – Limpopo tourism is very excited as canned Lion hunting can be expensive – but canned small black child hunting is relatively cheap.
* England race Big Brother furore over an Oxo Cube – What’s the problem, we all know all the world’s racists live in London. That’s where the Chav’s live isn’t it?
Categories: JMSN
JMSN 149 – Zuma Visits Yengeni in Jail
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* Confusion as Zuma visits Yengeni in prison – No one knew who should have stayed. We think they both should. But they didn’t.
* Boksburg, home of Apartheid – An ambulance crashes with patients on board, there were bodies everywhere. What a complete fuck up.
* The Pope, The Pope – The Pope calls on people to be kind to immigrants, ironic as he is a German Nazi and he lives in Italy as a Catholic. Praise the Lord.
* South Africans concerned as Mbeki and Zuma toast together – If they aren’t fighting, how are the Whites going to take over?
* Please excuse Joe Ma’s voice – He ate a Turkish person.
* Take this candle and shove it up your arse.
Master Kungfone say, “Much Respect!”
Categories: Uncategorized
JMSN 148 – Cops crack down on Yellow line drivers!!
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* Police Crack Down on Yellow Line Drivers – They have scheduled a crack down on rapists for Friday and a crack down on Murderers for the end of January. Happy Times.
* South African Schools return – No killings recorded as yet, but it is the first week.
* Paris, Fronce – Ovulating chicks look hotter than non-ovulating – If your chick is hot then give her a good rogering immediately!
* Tokyo children who can’t use chopsticks can’t go to school – So how will they ever learn then? Huh? Talk about steeeuuuupid.
* The Pope has called the Paris Dakar Rally dangerous – But he letting his priests molest young boys is fine?
* An American artists paints with his knob – He calls his knob George W, coz it’s a real Dick.
Master Kungfone say, “Much Respect!”
Categories: Uncategorized
Joe Ma Se News is back!!
JMSN 147 – Gauteng MEC for crime must resign
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* Gauteng MEC for security said he would resign, if crime didn’t drop – Crime never dropped, and he won’t resign. He’s a real knob. And he’s probably a Gay.
* A policeman who killed himself predicted is death – Apparently he had inside information from himself about his impending suicide.
* Oprah Winfrey takes public HIV test and passes! – No one told her you have to have sex to get Aids.
* A French prisoner eats his cell mate – He claims his cell mate said, “Bite Me!”, and he misunderstood.
* SAA in sex scandal!! – According to reports, once you buy a ticket, they fuck you.
* Thabo Mbeki gives new-year message to the country.
Master Kungfone say, “Much Respect!”
Categories: Uncategorized
